My ANTM Addiction Starts Here

Based on call-out scores only… the eliminations would have gone like so:

Magdalena, Kelle, Leah, Kristi, Jennipher, Toccara, Julie, Norelle, Ann, Cassie, Eva, Yaya, Amanda, Nicole.

Yes, the ‘forgettable’ Nicole takes it all. But… if I were doing it all based on logic, I think things would be at least slightly different.

Week 1- Jamaican Swimwear

I think a double elimination in week 1 is stupid… The girl isn’t given a chance to prove herself, and to be quite honest… quite a few of these picture suck, so if they were eliminating based on suckage… I’d just get rid of five of them or something. Still, one is a lot worse than the rest.

Magdalena

Week 2- Makeup-free Beauty Shot

I think this would have been a more logical place for a double elimination, personally. The face is the money– Tyra and Co. are always picking people based on their runway walk and their personality– Sure, it’s important but if your face looks like shit, it doesn’t matter how well you walk the runway. You won’t get booked. OKAY, RANT OVER. There were two pictures that I really, really don’t like–

Kelle

Kristi

Week 3- Lee Jeans

Well, Kelle’s picture is obviously the worst (I will come to her defense and say that she’s gorgeous, but she just really didn’t work it out on the show), and Kristi’s is awful too, but I took care of them last week… And while I’m not nuts about Jennipher’s picture, I think a girl that was already eliminated on the show would be in over her head at this point.

Leah

Week 4- Dooney and Bourke on skates.

Not to completely mirror the judges or anything but… they were spot on with their elimination this week

Jennipher

Week 5- Stinger

Ann’s picture sucks. It’s completely shit… But she wouldn’t have over-stayed her welcome with me yet. Bottom two? Damn right. As much as I think Julie is hot, I’m sure her ‘meh’ attitude about modeling would have been evident by now.

Julie

I just figured I’d point out now how mediocre the bottom tier of girls are in this cycle and how amazing the top are. I hate that I’m semi-agreeing with the judges right now. Maybe they aren’t as dumb as I thought.

Week 6- Doppelganger

As much as it kills me to make this next elimination… I would absolutely have to, mostly because her entire performance was less consistent than the girl with the first picture.

Toccara

Week 7- Tarantulas

I eliminated Toccara, which means Norelle has the worst picture of the week. We know Cassie can pull off a gorgeous beauty shot. All the others did amazing work. Even Ann.

Norelle

Week 8- Campbell’s Commercials

Oh my god… ANN. AGAIN. Well, Cassie was insecure before going to a foreign country, so it’s probably safe to say that she’d be flipping balls right now.

Cassie

Week 9- T-Mobile Phones.

Goodbye Ann. Goodbye.

Ann

Week 10- That Anime bike thing.

As much as her picture does suck… I don’t know what a top 3 without Yaya would be like. It’d be a shame because Eva’s Covergirl picture would be completely unknown… but to be fair, Eva’s anime picture really isn’t MUCH better than Yaya’s.

Eva

Week 11- Covergirl

What a sexy top 3. I feel like Yaya’s picture would have ultimately been third, just as it was in the real top 3. Nicole is simply too beautiful to not deliver a stellar Covergirl picture.

Yaya

Final 2-

I love them both. A lot. I think that ultimately, my girl Nicole would have pulled it out in the end.

Runner-Up:

Amanda

Winner-

Nicole

I am not an evil woman like Janice and will not include Kelle’s entire portfolio. That would just be cruel. I am not including the beauty shots because… they’re beauty shots. Even the bad ones aren’t ugly. Kelle is lucky.

Oy.

My ten favorites of Cycle 3… Should actually be an interesting list seeing as how nobody really ran away with it this time, unlike in previous cycles.

And then a collective tenth place for the holy trifecta of:

Easy, breezy and beautiful indeed.

This is, without a doubt, the hardest elimination ever. The dramatics seen at panel were totally justified. Eva, Yaya and Amanda deliver three of the best Covergirl pictures I’ve ever seen on this show. I think one is slightly above the rest, but the SECOND TWO are just… so unbelievably close. Let the record show that there is, for the first time, nothing negative to say about any of the pictures except that they aren’t quite as awesome as the ones that precede them. I’ve included the full body shoots because I think they add so much to the picture

Amanda-

Flawless. My favorite Covergirl ad of all time. Her eyes match the ‘water’. Her smile looks warm and genuine. I love the curly hair– She looks like a 1950s glamour girl. I have no idea how they managed to eliminate her with a picture like this and such incredibly consistency over the past couple of weeks.

OH MY GOD.

Eva-

She is probably the one born to do a shot like this, and you can tell. Her smile is gorgeous- completely warm and genuine. I love how playful she looks, as if she could lay by the water all day and still have a smile on her face. This is the face of an approachable, marketable and beautiful woman.

Yaya-

Oh jesus christ. This is so beautiful. I can name fifteen Covergirl shots that don’t even touch this in terms of gorgeousity, but unfortunately… there has to be a last place. I probably would have kept her for my final 2 (if it were these 3) just because I think she started off more consistently than Eva. I guess I like Eva’s hands a little bit better… A lot more innovative of a pose. I don’t get the critique about Yaya looking snooty. At all. I think she looks adorable. I love the baby ‘fro.

THAT CONCLUDES THE PHOTOSHOOTS OF CYCLE 3. Final standings to follow, plus the bonus posts. I’ll probably be recapping Australia’s Next Top Model next, just for something different!

Standings-

Nicole- 2.8

Amanda (3.1)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7/4/2/1/1/1

Yaya (4.3)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5/2/5/4/4/3

Eva (4.4)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1/1/4/2/3/2

Cassie- 4.4

Ann (4.8)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2/5/1/5/2

Norelle – 5.9

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.5)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6/7

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 2

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0 (bullshitbullshitbullshit)

Norelle- 1

Toccara- 1

Yaya- 2

This photoshoot, despite only having 4 pictures (8, if you count the closeups), was extremely hard for me, mostly because I don’t really love any of the pictures. The styling is really good, but none of the girls wowed me with their pictures.

But… let’s give it a go anyway.

Amanda-

I like this one because I think it looks like a real ad… Slap a logo on that and it’s some funky, Aryan/Japanese anime campaign. I like that she stared straight on and kind of gave that blank stare that a lot of anime cartoons give. Lastly, I like that she actually had the balls to sit on the bike and extend her legs. A lot gutsier than the other poses.

Ann-

I actually LIKE her face– I think she kind of looks like a doll, but it isn’t confident or striking enough to warrant a top 2 call-out. If she’d extended her legs, or done something a little different with her face, this could possibly be my favorite… She’s pretty enough to make it work, but it’s not great.

Eva-

Her face doesn’t really shine through the makeup… I think she would have looked more powerful from straight on, but despite the missing left leg, I really like the position her body is in. There’s a confidence in this picture that Ann’s photo lacks.

Yaya-

THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN… EVER. I love Yaya and I don’t like the idea of her getting any eliminations… But this picture is a mess! She looks like she’s mentally challenged– The ajar mouth… And the body sucks too! Her thighs look huge, her left arm is grasping at nothing.

The judges eliminated Ann… and it was definitely her time to go. I mean, her picture isn’t too bad but she was lightyears behind the remaining three in terms of her overall pictures.

Standings-

Nicole- 2.8

Amanda (3.3)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7/4/2/1/1

Yaya (4.4)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5/2/5/4/4

Cassie- 4.4

Eva (4.6)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1/1/4/2/3

Ann (4.8)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2/5/1/5/2

Norelle – 5.9

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.5)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6/7

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 2

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0 (bullshitbullshitbullshit)

Norelle- 1

Toccara- 1

Yaya- 1

Final five. The girls had to pose with T-Mobile phones wearing Japanese kimonos and, I guess, emulating the Japanese style of grace and poise and stuff. As is typical, the first two are great, and the rest are all different levels of meh.

Amanda-

This is one of those instances where her stare works in her favor. Her eyes are fixed on something, but they’re alive and intense, and it perfectly embodies the sort of stoic nature of a Geisha. Her body is flawless as well… Long and extended, shows off the kimono. To die for.

Eva-

Her face doesn’t wow me, but her body is the best of the bunch. I like that she’s got her feet in invisible high heels, which makes her obviously taller (seeing as how she’s only 5′6!) and her hands, which look very graceful. You notice the kimono, despite her standing there in her skivvies, and you notice the phone. Pretty stellar stuff.

Norelle-

I like this because her face looks like a Japanese anime character. Her eyes are exaggerated, her mouth looks tiny… It really works for me. Also, the kimono looks gorgeous. There isn’t as much grace as the above two, but the face is really unique and awesome.

Yaya-

She looks like she has back problems– Her weight is on her left leg as if she can’t stand properly, and the face is pretty dead… Like ‘Oh, I’ve never seen a phone before and zzzz’. Narcolepsy, maybe? I love her boobs though and at least the extension of the body sort of shows off a Japanese stance of grace.

Ann-

Ann isn’t so much Geisha as she is Walk Like an Egyptian, and her face truly bewilders me. Are her eyes even open? Why does she have a death grip on the phone? WHAT IS GOING ON? Was this really her best shot?!

But of course, being the judges of never-ending intelligence, they eliminated Norelle. Sigh.

Nicole- 2.8

Amanda (3.6)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7/4/2/1

Cassie- 4.4

Yaya (4.5)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5/2/5/4

Eva (4.8)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1/1/4/2

Ann (5.1)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2/5/1/5

Norelle (5.9)- 13/10/11/1/5/1/3/6/6/3

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.5)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6/7

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 2

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0 (bullshitbullshitbullshit)

Norelle- 1

Toccara- 1

It’s commercial time… AKA, the bane of my existence. Cycles 1, 2 and 3 didn’t take any screen grabs when they did commercial challenges so poor bloggers like myself are forced to take our own. These are really bad quality, and I don’t expect any delightful conversation because I don’t have a copy of the commercials either.

Ann-

Her Japanese was really good… she looked pretty. It’s a shocker to have her up this high.

Amanda-

She said that she looked like a pair of ears on an onion. I say she looks like Voldemort. Not her fault that they give the pale girl the ice blonde hair (this becomes a trend in later cycles, of course). She still was very eloquent, even though she talked a little fast.

Nicole-

All that junk about her not being memorable and slumping over and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH was BULLSHIT. She was first call-out THE WEEK BEFORE and Tyra can’t remember who she is? It’s the dumbest elimination of the cycle, and one of the worst in ANTM history because it was so clearly some sort of scheme against her.

Eva-

She kind of had that same bewildered expression on her face for the entirety of her commercial. It’s SO funny. Still, I felt that she had nice delivery because… I dunno any Japanese so I didn’t know that it was wrong.

Yaya-

I think Nigel said that she sounded like she was doing morse code, not speaking Japanese. I totally agree, even though she looks the best in all of my pictures. The umeboshi thing was ridiculous… I would have spit that pickled plum shit out too and been like YOU HAVE SOME, TYTY. Of course, I would have been kicked off for being boring too.

Norelle-

This isn’t even good in a BRAZILIA! kind of way… She was just like ‘Stutter… stutter… Campbells’. Not a big shocker, for me anyway… She seemed nice and all, but not exactly the definition of intelligent.

Nicole (2.8)- 4/2/3/3/1/3/4/3/3

Amanda (3.8)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7/4/2

Cassie- 4.4

Yaya (4.5)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5/2/5

Eva (5.1)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1/1/4

Ann (5.1)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2/5/1

Norelle (6.2)- 13/10/11/1/5/1/3/6/6

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.5)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6/7

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 1

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0 (bullshitbullshitbullshit)

Norelle- 1

Toccara- 1

This photoshoot is pretty scary. I’d probably be in the Eva camp in terms of fear — Crying and asking stupid questions like ‘Are we posing with the spider or the person holding it?’.

This, of course, was a horribly sad elimination. I love Toccara and I think she’s by far the best plus-size role model they’ve ever had on the show. Her photos had slid considerably by now, so I s’pose it was logical, but the reasoning given was crap. ‘You’ve lost your personality’. Right, because everyone was treating her like she was some sort of glutton. I would have lost mine too. JUST WANTED TO THROW THAT IN THERE.

PHOTO TIME.

Eva-

Considering how scared she was, she pulled out one HELL of a picture. She gets a little criticism on message boards and stuff for the odd placement of the hand, but I completely disagree. I think she looks like she’s sexily peeking through her fingers. Eyes are insane. The rings are perfectly showcased (it IS a jewelry ad, after all). Two weeks in a row… Our winner is finally proving herself.

Yaya-

First of all, can we please laugh at this picture being titled “Yayaspider”? Yay, a spider! This is an extremely close runner-up for best picture of the week. For once, Nole Fucking Marin speaks the truth. Yaya looks like a chocolate Barbarella. The rings looks amazing, her eyes are sexy and sultry. I think her mouth is the only thing that keeps this from #1. Hot picture.

(Insert massive gap of awesomeness)

Nicole-

There is such a creepy quality to this picture that none of the others have. I love the finger touching the lip, which kind of distracts from the decidedly awkward facial expression she has– The mouth is a LITTLE stiff. She looks like she’s watching me, which kind of makes up for the diamonds not being sold as well as the above two. Overall, another ferocious picture from my Nicole.

Amanda-

There is a very old fashioned sexiness to this picture, so I don’t understand why the judges were compelled to literally piss all over it. She looks glam, but she just doesn’t nail it like the others. I wish she hadn’t done the Eva-esque hand placement, because it distracts from those gorgeous eyes (which have looked better, I’ll note). She does a good job highlighting the jewelry though.

Ann-

Here comes trouble… Now, this is a pretty unpopular opinion… Many people think she should have been eliminated this week but this is a MODELING competition, not a personality contest, and there are some positives here. Her mouth is a mess… It looks tense BUT! when you look at it more and more, there’s a weird beauty to how nervous she looks. There obviously isn’t a refreshing ’so what’ like Eva’s picture, but it’s not a mess. Not at all. Ann is lucky, because she’s hot as hell.

Norelle-

I don’t know what it is about this, but it just doesn’t work for me. I think her eyes look dead and there’s a stiffness in her mouth that doesn’t make sense, like Ann’s did. It’s not an elimination worthy shot or anything, but her eyes only stand out because of the makeup, not any intensity she’s giving. Also, her fingers are kind of digging into her face, which looks blah. Beautiful girl, but this is a step back for her.

Toccara-

The most perplexing thing about this picture is her ring finger. WHERE IS IT?! It appears to be sticking straight out but then you follow the line of her finger and IT’S HER LIP! It’s like the scariest, optical illusion ever, including that weird old woman/young woman thing:

But I digress. It pains me to put her here, but there’s absolutely no energy in this. The tarantula is far more noticeable than the jewelry. Her skin rocks, as always, but the eyes are just about to roll back in her head. PET PEEVE ALERT.

Sigh.

Nicole (2.8)- 4/2/3/3/1/3/4/3

Amanda (4.1)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7/4

Cassie- 4.4

Yaya (4.5)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5/2

Eva (5.2)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1/1

Ann (5.6)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2/5

Norelle (6.2)- 13/10/11/1/5/1/3/6

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.5)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6/7

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 1

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0

Norelle- 0

Toccara- 1

This week’s photoshoot involved basically playing two parts… Most of the girls kind of resembled themselves in the ‘plain’ shots and then they played a doppelganger, so that’s what the shoot has been renamed. In reality, this is what they were supposed to be emulating (I don’t really take it into account because any of the suckage is the fault of the cunt stylists, not the girls)

Amanda- Vulnerable Woman/Cat Woman

Ann- Rich Girl/Darkness

Cassie- Sweet Girl/Knightress

Eva- Boy/Diva

Nicole- Society Queen/Dominatrix

Norelle- Upscale Woman/Amazonian Woman

Toccara- Servant/Noblewoman

Yaya- Girl/Ghost

Yeah, okay… Also, just thought I’d point out that Janice was at her most bitchy this week! She said Toccara should lose 150 pounds. Go suck a heroin stick, Janice.

Eva-

Well, well, well. Look who is FINALLY at the top. About friggin time too… seeing as how she’s the eventual WINNER of the cycle. Everything about this is gorgeous. She looks sexy as a ‘boy’, she looks sexy as the diva perched on the car and yet none of it looks like she’s trying too hard.

Ann-

I actually don’t love her face in the first closeup, but there are so many other GOOD things going on… I love that her pinkies are hooked together where the hands meet in the middle! I love how she has her head down a little bit but still manages to look really cool in the ‘darkness’ shot. I love the energy in both poses. WELL DONE, ANN! NO ELIMINATION FOR YOU THIS WEEK!

Norelle-

I think this is pretty awesome all around. The judges said her plain Jane picture was a mess, but I don’t agree. I love her pose, and the ‘Wtf” look she’s giving her diva side. And as for the diva side… Fierce. Another sexy pose, and another great facial expression.

Nicole-

I think the criticism of this was pretty bullshit. I think it just set Tyra up to eliminate Nicole two weeks later for ‘not being memorable’. Yeah, the plain picture is lacking (She looks cute as hell, but she’s not really DOING anything), but the diva one is really cool… the body is screaming intensity and she looks pretty even without her hair!

Yaya-

This picture is actually kind of funny to me. Her plain one is like ‘Whoa!’ but the diva one is actually… really cool. She’s supposed to be a ghost, and the effect is really cool. I like that her eyes are mostly closed but there’s still a lot of energy coming from them. She’s pretty enough to pull it off, but it’s nothing special.

Toccara-

I originally had this second to last because I think the plain one kind of sucks… I mean, she’s really doing nothing special there. The glam one, however, is LOVELY. The energy in the hand, the sexy expression– really, really gorgeous.

Amanda-

I LOVE the plain one… I think it’s really pretty and sexy, but the second one is DEAD. She’s literally just staring all angrily and the pose really isn’t that interesting either. Boo, Amanda. You don’t belong here!

Cassie-

This feels like an on-screen breakdown for me. She started way at the top and now she’s in last place. How depressing. It’s not that there’s anything ugly going in… but the whole thing is just boring. I like the stuck out bum in the glam shot, but both faces are just kind of bland and altogether too relaxed looking. All she needed was a little intensity to tip this over Amanda’s. FAREWELL, SWEET CASSIE.

Nicole (2.8)- 4/2/3/3/1/3/4

Amanda (4.1)- 7/1/2/8/2/2/7

Cassie (4.4)- 2/3/1/4/7/6/8

Yaya (4.8)- 1/5/10/6/3/4/5

Ann (5.7)- 10/8/4/2/6/8/2

Eva (5.8)- 11/6/9/5/4/5/1

Norelle (6.2)- 13/10/11/1/5/1/3

Julie- 6.3

Toccara (6.4)- 3/4/8/7/9/8/6

Jennipher- 7.8

Kristi- 8.5

Leah- 9

Kelle- 10.3

Magdalena- 14

Eliminations-

Amanda- 0

Ann- 1

Cassie- 1

Eva- 0

Jennipher- 1

Julie- 0

Kelle- 3

Kristi- 1

Leah- 0

Magdalena-1

Nicole- 0

Norelle- 0

Toccara- 0