If I’d been logically judging the competition, not just coming up with standards based on pictures, this is what I would have come up with-

Week 1- First Slutty Picture

Although I think Shannon has a horrible picture, Tessa’s isn’t much better and Shannon has a better look overall. I hate to agree with the judges, but she’s a pretty logical elimination.

Week 2- Stuff Magazine Whore Shot

Kesse would have the lowest call-out average at this point, but paired with the diva attitude and the lame picture, Robin would have gotten the boot from me, and we wouldn’t have missed out on much except her kind of adorable snake picture.

Week 3- Beauty Shots with Snakes.

I would have been sick to death of Nicole’s tranny-fierce look, and despite Ebony’s ugly picture, I would have kept her around because of her amazing Stuff picture. I don’t like sending people from the top to the bottom.

Week 4- Fresh Look Contacts

Although I love the pants off the woman, Ebony’s two terrible performances in a row would have caused me to eliminate her, no doubt

Week 5- Movement

Although she was the most skilled at selling products, Kesse’s pictures were pretty meh at this point. Giselle’s elimination at this point was one of the most bullshit of all time.

Week 6- Porn

Tossup here… Elyse’s picture is horrible, Katie’s probably would have made Adrianne’s look G-rated… Not sure about Giselle. Ultimately, I think Katie would have forgotten to be fashionable and would have like, whipped the guy’s junk out.

Week 7- Nudie Butt!

Shannon didn’t do the shoot. Buh-bye.

Week 8- Is this beauty shots?

I’m not sure if the beauty shot counted toward this elimination or what… It’s hard for me to decide whether or not to eliminate Elyse or Giselle at this point… If the beauty shot was a factor, then Giselle would have probably excelled, but Elyse was better overall.

Runner-Up- Elyse:

And surprisingly… I actually agree with the winner… Miss. Adrianne Curry turned Knight.

What a hot slut.

Most #1 Call-Outs: Adrianne

Most Dead-Last Call-Outs- Robin