The pictures are here! If you want the pictures, go to I’m just going to be linking from my photobucket, and if you steal them from me, my bandwith will be exceeded. SO DON’T DO IT.

I’ll do this format exactly the same as I have in the past! First of all… here’s the group shot, pre-makeovers:

Cycle 12.

Cycle 12.

I hate to admit it, but my eye does straight to Bitchy McBitch Sandra. With the exception of that Celia picture, I have to say that they all look nice together in a group.

So, the photos. First of all, this was one of the worst shoots in the history of. America’s. Next. Top. Model. Not one girl had the sheer brilliance of Marjorie’s ‘Voting is Sexy’ photo. Heck, not even one girl had any sort of brilliance. A few of the pictures worked, but almost everyone was completely mediocre. My commentary is going to be particularly biting BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! ALMOST EVERYONE IS JUMPING. For those who weren’t aware… photos where models jump piss me off. I’ve never seen anyone doing a Saleisha Great Wall in Vogue, so I think it’s ridiculous when a girl gets praised for it. In this photoshoot, it works… Sort of.

Fo(Licia)- Ring Around the Rosie

She’s jumping… but it WORKS for this. Her face is just exuding such a warmth and childlike exuberance and it’s really adorable. I want to know why the FUCK they photoshopped her freckles out though. Those would make her even more endearingly kiddish.

Celia- Hula-Hooping

The closeup of this will not be celebrated, guaranteed. If this was supposed to be a beauty shot… well jeez… I’d be vomiting, but again, there is such a gleeful look on her face. She’s alive with energy and I like it. I also don’t think she looks 25 at all. AT ALL.

London- Tug of War

Don’t worry… I’m totally pissed at myself for putting Jesus Jr. this high… but I have to be fair! I think her proportions are a mess… She’s way too hippy for that dress, but her face is so wonderfully innocent and happy, and I love the angle. Dammit London. YOU STOP BEING PHOTOGENIC RIGHT NOW.

Allison- Double Dutch

I love her. I love that she looks a little unsure, like ‘Oh, can I actually do this?’. It’s a different kind of childish joy, but it WORKS. Her eyes don’t look completely scary, which is a relief… and this is probably the only picture that works as a fashion shot as well as satisfying the theme.

Pretty much the rest of them have a degree of suckage. So enjoy! Bahaha.

Natalie- Leapfrog

She looks a little unsure, but she also looks hot. It sort of goes against the theme by being sex kittenish and not innocent little girl, but LOOK AT THAT BOD. Her legs are better than everyone else’s. Can we please look at preggo alcoholic extra for a minute? How fierce is that bitch? PLEASE bring her back for an audition in another cycle.

Aminat- London Bridge-

I dunno if I mentioned this in my recaps, but I love Aminat. I can’t believe she was in the bottom 5 for this shot. It’s more like ‘I’m trying to be hot’ than ‘I’m a happy little kid’, but she looks gorgeous. The judges are afraid she’s going to be one note. Man, if your one note is in tune, DON’T CHANGE THAT. Isn’t Tyra the one always squinting… I mean smiling with her eyes? SIGNATURE POSE, TYRA. YOU CONTRADICTORY WHORE.

Nijah- Musical Chairs

It’s just… a little bit too literal for me. The cheesy grin doesn’t look like real happiness. If she was going to overpose, she should have tried to look sexy instead. This isn’t her fault, but the chairs are clear… You can barely see them, so it’s hard to see what she’s playing.

Teyona- Hopscotch

Fo= What good jumping is. Teyona= What bad jumping is. This is a Saleisha edit… A jumping picture with an awkward face that is ejaculated on by the judges. I don’t like her face AT ALL. The jump works for the theme (I mean… hopscotch is essentially all about jumping) but the face doesn’t connect with the body at allll.

Tahlia- Tag

Longshot= Adorable. Closeup= Looks a little fake. Preggo Teenager= Fierce.



This picture is just… meh. Her face looks strained, her body doesn’t have any energy. The rebel smoking the cig looks hotter than Kortnie does. OH, AND KORTNIE IS NOT PLUS-SIZE. She has BIG. TITS. THAT’S IT. I’m so sick of hearing be like ‘Well, the other girls are flaunting their legs’ and it’s ONLY EPISODE 1. Between fake plus sizedness and burns, I’m going to bash my head against a wall or something. Kortnie, try and look less like a parade, okay? [/tyra]


GIRL, IF YOU ARE GONNA BE AN AFRICAN QUEEN LIKE NNENNA, YOU NEED TO PHOTOGRAPH LIKE NNENNA. This picture isn’t as shitty as everyone is saying… She bent at a fashionable angle while still emulating hide and seek, which, personally, always makes me hunch my shoulders up. The problem is that her face is deeeeead. Her eyes look hesitant, her mouth looks tight. But not bottom 2.

Isabella- Dodgeball

It’s a mess. Definitely a mess. The hands are all weirdly outstretched… Her face looks unsure. I DO like the extension in the leg. That saves it from being the worst.


Jessica- Jacks

I just. don’t. like it. She’s got dead eyes, the slightest hint of a snarl, and if you took the props away, you’d have no idea that she was playing a game at all. I like the bent in legs… I looove me some bowlegged poses, but I don’t love it in this situation! I am jealous of this bitch’s skin, but otherwise… I do not like her. At all. She can be accused of being too porny and can go home ASAP.


Fo- 1

Celia- 2

London- 3

Allison- 4

Natalie- 5

Aminat- 6

Nijah- 7

Teyona- 8

Tahlia- 9

Kortnie- 10

Sandra- 11

Isabella- 12

Jessica- 13


Allison- 0

Aminat- 0

Celia- 0

Fo- 0

Isabella- 0

Jessica- 1

London- 0

Kortnie- 0

Natalie- 0

Nijah- 0

Sandra- 0

Tahlia- 0

Teyona- 0