Seriously, who does Biyanka think she’s kidding with her recent love for Jesus? I mean, THAT’S COOL, THAT’S COOL, but Amber has already totally exhausted our need for religion, has she not?

Yes, I am still mourning her loss. Moving on to the ‘elongate yourself’ photos. There are no closeups yet, from what I can find, but honestly, the face is pretty unimportant for the brief.

The first three shots called out by the judges happen to be my favorites too. Starting with Kara-

I don’t mind that her left boob is threatening to escape. Seriously, homegirl looks long and lean and out of control. Her legs look amazing, as does the rope wrapped around her left stem. She’s doing the tension thing that gets Tyra all hot and bothered without looking too stiff. I know I just said that the face was unimportant but her face is looking purdy too.

Nicole-

As a shot, this one is my absolute favorite. She really does look about 400 feet tall. THAT BEING SAID… I think she can credit the photographer for clearly shooting her at an angle that makes her appear taller… That is to say that the stunningness of this shot doesn’t have much to do with Nicole’s posing as much as it has to do with her hotness. And even taking that into account, I have to rank it third. It’s just SO hot.

Erin-

Erin takes the albino cake from Rae again with this picture. First of all, I love her blue shoes. I wish I had the confidence to work electric blue velour pumps. Secondly, this pose is hot. She’s so tall and lean and pretty, and her ass looks amazing. I’m almost always a fan of the way she’s holding her right hand. Gaw-juss.

Jennifer-

I cannot tell a lie. Idi Amin looks great… I love the bend in her body… It’s creating such an interesting angle. Her face still looks stupid as hell, but I solemnly swore not to take the faces into account… much. The pose is fierce. I rest my case.

Laura-

Okay, so she’s not looking like an Amazonian goddess but if I can rank Nicole second for standing still, I can rank Laura fifth for looking hot in teal green. She certainly hasn’t stumpified herself, amirite?

Luly-

As stankity stank as she is, I have to admit that Luly’s photogenic-ness should have saved her from elimination for at least a few more weeks. Smizing indeed. And I bet the picture would be 10x hotter if they’d let her wrap the rope around her neck. As it stands, her right thigh bothers me, but I actually think the rest of the picture is… pretty hot.

Sundae-

Her face just… bugs. Seriously, she looks a bit like some desperate skank trying to get laid at a club or something. BUT, does she look 5’3? No suh, she does not. So for that reason, AND BECAUSE ON MY HONOR, I AM NOT COUNTING THE FACE AS HEAVILY AS I NORMALLY WOULD, she goes here.

Rae-

I’m worried for Rae. I think her first call out shield has worn off, and I can see her being eliminated for something really stupid. Which would make me sad, because she’s beautiful, and this picture isn’t as bad as the judges painted it out to be. Is she doing anything particularly special? Definitely not. But I don’t see anything BAD about the shot either.

Ashley-

Her body shape has caused the dress to cut her in an extremely unflattering way, and she’s stumpifying her legs to the max. Also, not to act like Tyra gives valuable advice but the lackluster way that she’s grasping the hoop bugs the shit out of me. Act like you give a damn, Ashley. After sitting on it, Luly was robbed. Ashley hasn’t delivered a good shot yet. All of Luly’s pictures have been at least decent.

Biyanka-

THIS is the start of the redemption edit?! THIS SHOT?! Her legs are adorable, but the pose is a joke! WHY does this girl think she is Queen Marjorie?!!? SHE’S NOT. THE HUNCH IS NOT FOR YOU, BIYANKA. Rest assured, I actually like her, despite her more than lackluster portfolio but THIS PHOTO?! Does Tyra expect the majority of viewers to buy this shot as ‘good’ and see it as a turnaround point for Biyanka? I call BULLSHIT. It’s gonna take more than that, Miz. Banks.

Brittany-

Everything about this, short of her standing on her tip toes, is a mistake. Her turned in knees look about five inches long. The dress being pulled out to the side makes her look like a human chode. Even her face is just a pointy mess. I hate this picture. Right down there with Biyanka’s travesty of a horse photo, for me.

Numbas-

Nicole (2.3)- 1/4/2

Laura (3)- 3/1/5

Kara (4)- 6/5/1

Rachel- 4

Erin (4.6)- 8/3/3

Rae (5.6)- 2/7/8

Luly (6.3)- 7/6/6

Courtney- 6.5

Brittany (7.3)- 9/2/11

Jennifer (8.6)- 11/11/4

Lisa- 10

Sundae (10)- 14/9/7

Ashley (10.3)- 12/10/9

Biyanka (11.6)- 13/12/10

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