Even if you look like a horny chickennnnnnn or have your face obscured with floaty clooooooooooooooothhhhh.

So, the photos this week… Wear a scarf on your head and resemble Tyra before she goes to bed, apparently-

Picture this, plus a head scarf.

Picture this, plus a head scarf.

Don’t worry… the shots are much prettier than this. ALSO, THEY WERE SHOT BY MIZ BANKS HERSELF! Now, as much as I like to rag on Tyra for any and everything, she has proven time and time again that she can take decent pictures. So, I’d say that most of these, except for one, are all quite good. Starting with-

Rae-

I know the judges said that she could ‘put a chill on a popsicle’ (okay, Miss. J said that, as if you couldn’t already tell), but I think this shot is downright angelic. Rae looks otherworldly. And she also is rocking the high fashion cancer chic look. Stunning photo.

Nicole-

The fact that she hasn’t gotten a first call out yet seriously bugs me, because she looks amazing YET again. She is by far the most consistent contestant of the cycle, and this picture rocks. It’s not a beauty shot, but it’s so pretty… that jutting clavicle, the weird hands, the pouty lips… AND I CAN’T EVEN BE ACCUSED OF BIAS BECAUSE HER HAIR IS COVERED. AND SHE STILL LOOKS AMAZING!

Erin-

She’s getting bitchier by the day but she continues to wow me with her amazing photos. This looks like a painting… the bend in the back is perfect… not too exaggerated, and her lack of eyebrows actually works quite well in this case. I’d say it’s a really awesome combo of ‘Bitch, I was showering, why’d you walk in on me’ and demonic. Work it out, new member of the stank club.

Brittany-

A huge improvement from last week, and undoubtedly ethereal and pretty, but the scarf covering her face doesn’t really suit my taste, personally. That’s really the only thing stopping this from being higher, since all her weird Angela-ish pointiness is put to rest at this angle.

Laura-

Call me crazy but does she resemble The Girl in the Pearl Earring to anyone else? There’s something so pretty about this… it’s very innocent. I love the carefree vibe the wind brings to the shot.

Sundae-

Congratulations Sundae! You finally took a good shot! Of course, it was one where your body played no part whatsoever! This is really simple and pretty, which I like a lot. Her face reminds me of Aminat’s a bit, but an itty bitty version.

Kara-

This is a MAJAH step down for my girl Kara after last week’s example of badassery. I still don’t think there’s anything majorly wrong with it (and I don’t get the ‘she looks handsome’ thing they were laying on thick when discussing her boyish girlishness)… It’s just less dynamic than the other shots, that’s all.

Biyanka-

Congratulations Biyanka! Your last shot and you aren’t in the bottom 2. The real issue is the same issue that’s been coming up involving all her photos since the original promo. Biyanka is one SEVERE looking lady. And in a shoot with the potential to be so ethereal and beautiful (and the colors look amazing, it should be noted), she just looks way too harsh. I do like the way the scarf floats around her like a colored wind… Purdy stuff.

Ashley-

I love the way the blue scarf looks like fire… It’s really a stunning color. Too bad that Ashley is bringing NOTHING to the picture. She’s literally just standing there making the same tight-lipped half smile that we saw in her horse and elongating photo. Totally blah, which sucks, cuz it could have been so good.

Forest-

AND SO IT BEGINS… The judges ranked this monstrosity SECOND. OVER RAE. OVER NICOLE. OVER EVERYONE ELSE EVER. OH MY GOD. I am so sure that this wonky eyed bitch is our winner now, because the judges are trying to trick the audience into thinking that this horrendous picture is ACTUALLY GOOD?!?! Seriously, I’m secretly glad it exists because even my photo critiques were bland this week but this picture just makes all sorts of negative feelings explode from inside. WHAT?!?!!? IS?!?!?!? THIS?!?!!??%$@?%@/ She’s pretty much scalping herself… She has a worse wind tunnel face than the Reptilian Queen Teyona. OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE WAS PRAISED FOR THIS PICTURE. SECOND WORST SHOT OF THE CYCLE, AFTER BIYANKA’S RUPAUL FEST ON THE HORSE. SEE, I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updated scores:

Nicole (2.2)- 1/4/2/2

Laura (3.5)- 3/1/5/5

Rachel- 4

Erin (4.2)- 8/3/3/3

Rae (4.5)- 2/7/8/1

Kara (4.7)- 6/5/1/7

Luly- 6.3

Brittany (6.5)- 9/2/11/4

Courtney- 6.5

Sundae (9)- 14/9/7/6

Jennifer (9)- 11/11/4/10

Lisa- 10

Ashley (10)- 12/10/9/9

Biyanka (10.7)- 13/12/10/8

Advertisements